Film Review: Commercials pt. 2

From ads for films, we go to medieval-themed commercials. Three popular ones now out in Canada, the U.S. and the UK are the car ad for Yaris.ca (Canada), the credit card ad for Capital One (U.S.) and the car ad for Kia (UK).

There are two Yaris ads. The first plays on the Ancient Greek Trojan Horse theme. Viking-looking people, besieged in a grimy, late-medieval castle, look out one day to see that their enemies have fled. The besiegers have also left behind a shiny red little car. They drag it in through their gates and celebrate their unexpected victory by partying all night. There are the requisite half-dressed wenches, the horns of mead and the horned caps (not something that Vikings actually wore). Everyone looks dirty and grimy, reflecting that old cliché of the Middle Ages being nasty, brutish and short.

Finally, after the castle's defenders falls asleep, besiegers who have hidden in the Tardis-like trunk of the Yaris car, sneak out, take over the castle and tie everyone up. We are apparently supposed to sympathize with the besiegers because they have a cool car. The advertisers emphasize this by having the besiegers dress in Elizabethan clothes with big codpieces and puffy sleeves and by making the besiegers both clean and much better looking than the defenders. The message is clear: medieval (Viking) is old, unhip and dirty; modern (Elizabethan) is new, hip and clean.

In the second commercial, a castle gate is being assaulted by a battering ram. When one of the defenders on the other side worries that they are all about to get killed, his leader assures him that they've sent their "fastest messenger" for help. The men are dressed in Hundred Years War-era garb and are filthy, exhausted and covered in mud.

Cut to a field, where two pretty young peasant girls stare open-mouthed while said messenger does spins with his shiny red Yaris to impress them. Cut back to the besieged castle where the main gate is splintering before the battering ram. The message is rather less clear in this ad: apparently, owning this car will make you a really cool cat-but only if you are a complete moron and don't mind attracting very stupid young girls. It seems to be aimed at young men, but I wonder if anyone under the age of 25 will want to be seen this way.

The Capital One commercial series follows the exploits of a bunch of Viking raiders who have been made redundant and forced to find new lines of work. This is actually quite funny as we see various examples of these guys attempting to work in an office, as garbagemen, setting up a Christmas tree and even doing ballet. Naturally, being medieval marauders, they are fat, filthy and lacking in lifelong dental hygiene. And equally in keeping with the modern cliché, they overreact to every obstacle clumsily and violently. Considering the unexpected popularity of Pirates of the Caribbean II, the ad writers might have used pirates, instead. But no matter, medieval pirates worked just as well.

The Kia commercial comes from Britain and could perhaps only be appreciated there. A family of four are out on the moors in their Kia car when a horde of tiny prehistoric savages (yes, including horned helmets) show up. In the first example, the family has a two-wheel drive car, which gets stuck in the mud. They are presumably killed and eaten. In the second example, they have a four-wheel drive, in which they escape and then lead the frustrated hordes a merry chase up and down the British countryside.

Okay. So, I guess you have to have lived in Britain (where prehistory is out in the back cow pasture), or at least have seen The Wicker Man, to appreciate this commercial. But then, that's the fun of it. It's neatly built on the premise that history is not something in some dusty book, but...well...out in the back cow pasture, waiting to maraud and eat you.

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